The Worst Thing That Could Possibly Happen

Oh sweet Mator, no more shall we meet. Never again shall I taste
your sweet flesh...

The worst has happened Brain. Oh the bitter, terrible reality, the irony of it being revealed to me now... This can only be proof that the universe is truly ruled by the original inventors of schadenfruede, the Lords Of Cosmic Jest.

Brain, I can not eat tomatoes.

I wail. I rage against cruel fate. What will I do, Brain, without the noble, the wondrous, the EXCELLENT tomato in my life? How will I separate the mozzarella from the flaky crust on my pizza? What will lovingly coat my french fries? How can I ever eat a garden salad again? Cheese sandwhiches will never be the same! Gazpacho a thing of the past?! Oh and... SALSA... no more salsa? No! Not salsa...

Its too horrible, Brain. Too unfair.

For many years now I have had terrible digestive issues which, of course, I am far too sensible of my reading public (all one of you) to detail here. Suffice it to say that numerous doctors, many many tests, scans, ultra sounds etc. could not figure out what was wrong with my wayward tum. But the simple process of elimination (ha ha no gross bathroom-humor-type pun intended) found that, yes, tomatoes, beatiful, delicious, juicy , perfect tomatoes, are at least one of the culprits.
And I find this out now, when for the first time in 20 years, I have a garden and fresh, delicious tomatoes waiting to be plucked off the vine. Could anything be more depressing? No it could not.

I'm not even sure how to go on. Or if i want to. A life without tomatoes just seems so ...dull.

I may be getting just the tiniest bit over-dramatic about this, but seriously, its a horrible shock Brain. I feel betrayed by my own self. My stomach is making it very difficult for me to eat like a vegetarian. I suppose that a certain amount of Googling and time spent trolling the internet will bring me some ideas about new ways to prepare food sans tomatoes and maybe I'll get over the grief in a couple of months (years), but i don't know if I can ever truly recover from the loss of salsa...